


Stay With Me

by littleworldbigbullshit



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer
Genre: F/M, I dont want any of you sad or triggered, I love tou guys, Sam Smith - Freeform, Song fic, its really sad and lonely for the most part, p ossiable trigger warning, please dont read if it will trigger you, stay with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:45:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3194063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleworldbigbullshit/pseuds/littleworldbigbullshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone gets a little sad, and a little lonely, even Mikey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was written on ten minute naps and half drunk minds at the crack ass of dawn, inspired by my king sam smith and my love Michael Clifford. Also very un beta'd so please bear with me.

"Looking at Mikey you wouldnt think to check his hips and shoulders would you? Or to listen at the door when he goes to bed, or goes to 'take a shower', would you? I hear the pain in his voice every time he speaks to a fan and sees their scars, or when they hear a fan has committed suicide. The whole that it visibly concaves into his chest is one so deep that you could pass a candle through it and watch the flame flicker out.  
I can understand that you others won't see this, because for a while I didn't.  
I could tell when It first started, but not worried, because Michael quit telling me things. He Has told me everything about his day every day since we could talk, even the first time he left for tour, he told me all the stupid things ash did, or the innuendos that Calum made. He told me he did that so I would feel like I was with him, so I wouldn't be alone.  
The other boys felt something was off with him when he would bring girls back to hotels, only to have them leave less than five minutes later with disgust on their faces. They would hear him cry, thinking it was only homesickness, or missing me. Once they came back home and we were together, they assumed he was better, because we were best friends, partners in crime reunited, but I saw through it.  
The crazy bright fun hair colors were just a ruse, to hide when the green in his eyes dulled that little sparkle it use to hold. The loud mouth and swearing were to make up for the empty quiet in his head that would drive him to madness. The first time they finished tour, Mikey came back to me passed out on the bathroom floor. He picked me up and clutched me screaming and crying for me to wake up, I will never forget how he would choose the worst times to use jokes to cheer things up, like when i closed my eyes and he sobbed trying to laugh while trying to say: "I know I piss you off like no tomorrow, I know im just a man but you gotta love me, please for the love of god open your eyes honey."  
I didn't even plan on doing it, I swallowed them be for I realized it.  
I saw what Mikey was doing because I knew how it felt.  
He forgot to shut the door to his room one night and I heard him cry almost every night but tonight was different. This was the kind of crying where your eyes burn, and your head hurts when you breath. This was the crying you could hear the pain. And I knew how it felt to be in that place, which is why I would let him cry at night, not everyone needs a pat on the shoulder and some cliche bullshit motivational quote they pulled from tumblr. Some people need to let it out.  
Bit that night I couldn't let him sit there and feel that pain. I walked into his room and I laid down behind him and put my arm around his waist, expecting some joke about spooning, but I heard nothing but his breathing, and broken noises. I buried my face in his hair, allowing a few of my own tears to run town my face.  
"I Love you Michael." I told him my voice cracking. His shoulders shook harder as he replied, "this isn't love." He said as if it was as clear as day.  
"Your right," I began. "This isn't love, its so much more than that. I don't just love you, I'm in love with you. Everything you do, and for some reason I seem enjoy your company. I understand how you work, how you think, I love to be with you at two in the morning when your brain isn't quite all there and you say the first thing on your mind. The truth. You radiate a kindness and a protective vibe that everyone can feel, it draws people in when you speak. I don't just love you, I want you. I appreciate you. I need you. I understand you, but even over all of that I sure as hell don't deserve you." I told him my voice cracking over and over as my heart poured out to him, my lips placing a kiss to the top of his head before pulling my arms from around him, my body already longing for the connection and the snug fit that we were together.  
My hands scrubbed the tears off my cheeks as is told up to walk out. I felt a tug on my wrist as I looked to find his hand latched around it, red rimming his eyes, and an emptiness that caused my heart to jerk in my chest. An emptiness that I felt a need to cure, or fill. He never deserved to have it put there.  
"Please stay with me. I need you." He said his raspy voice thick with tears as they spilled down his pale sunken cheeks. I stood for a moment be for climbing back on the bed and climbing onto his lap, straddling him as my arms circle his neck, hiding my face in the crook as my tears trickle down his neck, his pouring and dripping into my hair as he buried his face in the my hair, his arms winding around my waist, gripping my sides like i would run away if he didn't.  
This was intimacy. Not the kind that leads to sex, The kind that leaves your heart alive and your eyes firey. I this craved closeness.  
To feel his skin against my own. To feel the contentment flowing in our veins as the moment shared between us ran deeper than sex could, than words could cut or even any razor, deeper than any body could be buried.  
He once told me he longed to hear my heart beat. The One that didn't beat in his own chest that beat to The rhythm to the song that played every day as he marched into 'battle'.  
I shivered at the cold, The fight song drifting to an end. Just like the warmth of his skin drifted from mine. But as everything, time kept moving. And as one song ended another began, this time the Battle Hymn of their story, of our hearts. I wiped our tears as he pulled away, reaching for the bottom of his shirt tugging it over his head As tears kept flowing like raindrops from the heaviest cloud, but the light in his eyes sparkle an ember threatening to light a rainbow through the down pour. I rested my hands on his sides and kissed the white lines littering his body, just as he had done to mine, his heart picking up the beat the song growing louder as I kissed them with a determination that said i could take them away with the caring action.  
He kept the revelation, The drive inside his heart that shouted. They Screamed for the proximity of intelligence battling intelligence, the that he told me only I offered him.  
Skin against skin, Hand in hand. Nothing can stop us, for we are drunk in the hopes and high on the freedom. I fell in love with what made him Micheal, He fell in Love with what made me, me.  
We would last long after the physical flame could burn out, we had something deeper. Something truer than anyone could see  
I crave the stories that his mouth could tell  
I want to see the love and adoration in his eyes, ad I want him to feel it in mine as we said I love you.  
We ask each other when we cry why are we being so emotional? This words passes through Michael s very lips, and I looked at him and replied: "I don't know, but please don't ever change."  
He leaned back against the head board arms still right tight around me as he whispered "crying face isn't a very good look and I've gotta work on my self control, but these things almost never work out.and I can feel that it won't, but im not going to let that stop me from trying. But its this hole inside of me and my head is so quiet, and I cant think and there's always so many people around me that I can never just stop and think, and im sorry i worried yo-" that was our first kiss. When I cut him off for apologizing for being a human being. I . Pulled back with a bright red coloring on my cheeks as he blinked back a few more crystalline droplets, and speaking brethily. "Lay down with me, it doesn't hurt when yoyr here and just please stay." He asked me with a panicked voice as I pushed his shoulders back down onto the bed, laying my head on his chest, running my hand on his stomach in a silent answer.  
Two people can never belong to each other, because people aren't possessions or things to be traded or bought.  
Two people can only belong with each other, like music and lyrics, or puzzle pieces, or the sun in the moon. Always there to keep the other in check.


End file.
